I am in a weird sort of mood and I have no idea why. Well, that's a lie. I have some idea. I woke up this morning and headed into the city centre. It is fairly warm today, fair weather that makes you sure spring will arrive shortly. I watched It's Complicated last night and grew insanely jealous of Meryl's character with her beautiful Californian home and bakery. So to treat myself I went to Cafe Nero and enjoyed a delicious double espresso (with two sugars and dash of cream...I'm not that hardcore anymore) and pain au chocolat. They advertise that the dough is shipped from France, so I was sold. I worked on my essay, arguing how and why Cold Mountain is appropriate for a historical film class. I had a really lovely morning, all to myself, and get to spend the evening chatting with my parents over skype.
Maybe it was my indulgent morning filled with caffeine and chocolate, or perhaps my following the horrible news of the devastating earthquake in Chile but I just feel waves of gratitude coming on. Gratitude for my safety, for my prosperity, for my potential, and for my situation. Thanksgiving cannot be the only day you look back on your life and realize how fucking lucky you are to have all that you have (it also shouldn't be the only day you have a three hour meal with your family). As a white, American female, I already hold an extremely privileged spot in the world. Worry as I do about going broke here, I know that my parents are capable of supporting me, monetarily but most importantly, emotionally. I have the opportunity to see so many things here. Hell, I'm going to fucking Italy to stay in a villa in less than a month. Like, how does that happen? I have so much to come back to. My family, a job, my sister's wedding, a new home in Madison shared with three amazing ladies. Not to mention a fridge constantly filled with food and free laundry. I just hope that I can remember this. Take a deep breath and put whatever shit-storm I get myself into in perspective.
One of my roommates here is from Santiago, Chile. I haven't seen her come out of her room yet. I hope with all my heart her family is safe and not one of the 1.5 million displaced.
This photo doesn't really pertain to what I've written. I just really like it. Maren - credit due to you!
2 comments:
Natalie- I love reading your blog, you're a great writer.
I studied abroad in Africa and the gratitude you write about here is something that hit me really regularly over there, so I know exactly how you feel. I want to thank you for writing it, though, because a little part of my study-abroad self always subconsciously thought of study abroad in Europe and/or other anglophone countries as tamer in some way less rich/fulfilling (though inevitably more academically challenging) than third world study abroad. But by seeing that you feel what I felt so often shows me that it doesn't matter what continent you're on, the feeling of being removed from your normal life and essentially 'starting over' for a while throws your life into a new perspective and makes you think about things differently.
So I hope you're having an amazing time over there, as I'm sure you are, and I will keep reading your blog to distract myself from icy Minneapolis. :)
Lisa T
ps. Villa in Italy? Um, jealous.
I'm proud of you. :) The fact that you remember your blessings reveals that you're a beautiful person inside, as well as out.
I'm having fun reading your blog as well, mon amis. Thanks for sharing all your charming and intelligent lunacy with all of us stuck state-side.
I can't wait to see you again when you get back! (Do me a favor and, if you get the chance, take in some of the history sites in Italy! As a history major, I know you can appreciate how, for us westerners, so much history was made there, and so many futures decided :)
Muah.
With love,
Julie.
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